I never really thought of myself as the mom type. I like kids well enough, but only because they belong to other people. I can always give them back when I’m done. I don’t like awkward baby talk, and I find it weird when moms talk for there babies when people compliment them.
“Oh, your baby is so cute!”
“Say, ‘I know I am’”
I’m sorry, but your baby is 5 months old, so the odds of them saying, “I know I am,” are very small.
Oh wait, did you think I was pregnant?
I’m not. But I feel like I have a baby. Sorry to anyone I may have disappointed.
I got Freesia, my guide dog, with the knowledge that she would keep me safe. That I would feed her, and love her, and play with her, but I did not know this would feel like having a baby.
At least once a day, I get the same 3 questions.
“Boy or girl?”
“What’s her name?”
I’ve answered these questions so many times that I’m on autopilot. Once someone asked what my name was, and I responded, “She’s a girl and her name’s Freesia.”
Just this week, I started talking for Freesia. Someone says, “Bye Freesia,” and I say, “Say byeee.”
In my defense, it feels rude to ignore someone when they say bye, and obviously Freesia’s not going to do it herself… I am an embarrassment. I talk to her constantly. I’m becoming everything I make fun of, and it needs to stop.
I didn’t know I was pregnant, and it’s probably because I wasn’t.